I was ok with my once a week guy, sexually frustrated but sex isn’t the only reason you are together, some is better than none.

When it became none I got too frustrated and after 5 years with no sex cheated so - not well, is how I dealt with it.

But when it was just less than I wanted but regular, mostly what happened was I wouldn’t do much for him, like could not do oral, because if he got off that was it for the week.

I guess I don’t have constructive tips, but I guess at least an example of how NOT to handle it - please communicate, communicate, communicate.

Now I am with a guy who wants every day, and we compromise up not down, meaning if either of us wants sex we do it, that only works because we both want it pretty much all the time.

This has to depend on your boobs. For me, no bra is the most comfortable, and runner up is a soft pull on one that does nothing to support.

If you need support, the not very stretchy with a 3 part sewn cup that fits perfectly is going to be your friend. My supportive ones are balconette because that is what works best for me. But I don’t need support just wear a bra for work because it’s more professional!

This is one issue where Reddit is better than Lemmy, the r abrathatfits sub is a real pool of knowledge.

Not sure if I find it embarrassing anymore, but annoying for sure when objectively jerky behavior turns me on and pisses me off at the same time.

Ha! I miss so much my masseur who had to quit after a health issue. He was both intuitive and without mercy and yes the pain it was kind of a turn on. Also like 6.5 feet tall and gay, so both strong and safe, I didn’t have to worry about him being professional. I told him I did not care at all how the massage felt, I wanted to feel better afterwards not during. Have never had someone like that since. He legit would HURT me but it was so productive.

And yeah it’s about the level of pain I can enjoy I would say. Today I had a migraine and that is unpleasant as fuck and migraine switches off all the chemicals that can make pain into pleasure.

I thought most people enjoyed (maybe not in a sexual way, but still) that sort of massage pain, the hurt-lean-in-feel-it-breathe feeling but learned it’s not necessary for healing tight hurtful places, many people respond to gentle massage by relaxing their muscles and end up with good results, and prefer that.

That one Coital Alignment position where you are kind of scissoring and fucking at the same time feels good and is not effortful

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lateral_coital_position

I stayed too long, because I felt bad for my ex and ended up doing things that I never would have considered, and haven’t since. Really fell apart.

But yes, I was trying to hold the family together, because it didn’t seem like a permanent change, so five years with nothing.

Then a dramatic blowout of the relationship.

I decided sex wasn’t something I was willing to compromise on (ex was only ever a once a week guy, so it was a compromise to begin with, and was not comfortable with me wanting more than he did, it’s unladylike, needy, unattractive)

And husband now, we have sex every day and if I want it more he is happy about it. That’s a better fit, and it makes a big difference.

I’ve done this plenty, mostly MFM not D/s related, but two ways that worked for me in that way -

Once with a subby guy, he made me mini-Dom, which I am uncomfortable with, sort of middle management, lol.

And one glorious time, both guys collaborating and using me.

I think the sharing -as-dominance can be tricky, in a relationship. But if she likes MFM and you give it to her as a treat, that’s so nice. Confirms she is slutty, so you can tease her, and you get what you want. That’s what we did more, the actual sex was more equal, or me asking for things.

Sex every day. Found a guy who could keep up with me.

Between 1 minute and 5 minutes. Longer than about 8 minutes I give up. I’ve often been glad I’m not a man, would be a terrible quick fuck.

As an older lady, yes. Use it or lose it, PIV keeps everything healthier down there.

It’s funny because when I was younger it felt opposite, like sex was disruptive, more UTI, more yeast infections. But as you get older it changes, the everyday quickie in particular really does keep me in good shape, ladies who don’t do sex that involves penetration get more problems with dryness and atrophy.

That sounds dreadful. I’ve never had a sex nightmare, but my nightmares are funny, they start with the fear then my mind tries to build something to justify it. Sometimes so obviously & clumsily I get lucid or wake up.

I hope next time you can sex your way right out of the fear.

I did get more sex dreams when I was more frustrated, now I’d say it’s once every couple of weeks or so.

Lucid dreams much less frequently now that I am sleeping better, unfortunate side effect.

I had the pleasure of seeing a cuckold situation with a really hung black guy, an insanely gorgeous white lady wife, and the husband there taking care of himself. That was probably the most visually stunning arrangement I have seen IRL.

Don’t like much porn.

They can here at 13, and I’m in Florida, can’t imagine it’s that much worse anywhere else. I actually gave my kids flyers from the clinic at that age so they could give them to any of their friends who were active.

We talked about enthusiasm - that you should never have sex unless both parties were enthusiastic about it.

We talked about risks and STDs, so when my one kid had a boyfriend and got birth control, it was first time for both they asked if condoms were necessary so we talked about which viruses can be transmitted sexually but also in other ways, that this was probably the least risky situation they’d ever be in but not risk free.

Mostly just when I got questions but I’m not closed off about sex with them, there wasn’t a specific “the talk” that I remember.

It kind of hurt, I don’t think it would work if I tried myself, can’t for e through the oversensitive time and the D/s element of it was really a lot of the experience. Very intense, could not think straight at all, lost and loud, I can’t really compare it to anything else.

At first they do get full and hard, first couple of times the real milk comes in, but then adapt, and in my experience just make milk on demand when the baby nurses. My now grown kids say I am not empathetic about ladies who have issues nursing because it just seemed natural and not something I or any of my babies had to learn, it just happened. Have the baby, put 'em on the boob, that’s it.

Every time but only for a little while. Like the worst drug rush ever. Then it was just gone. And no, not like peeing, it’s secretion not excretion, I didn’t feel the milk coming out as much as the baby latching on. It did squirt right out though, it’s pretty funny and also magical and awesome, free food for the baby is an incredible design.

Congratulations!

Not really, no. I did eat more, and drink more water. And got sleepy more.