Could be argentinian, at least it checks out. Every one of those is used over there, and the slang sounds about right.

That was a very fun and interesting reading! Thanks for sharing

There’s even kinkier stuff…

My brother in christ

Damn that would be so cool! It’s an excellent idea. And it doesn’t seem too farfetched (I have no idea tho), but I can see it as one of the next big things. You are on to something man. Also, username checks out.