More to the woman. My girl once complained about me leaving the seat up.

For years, I always put the seat AND the lid down.

I spent enough time in the shower vigorously washing my weiner, it’s clean enough

It’s not just that, they’re easy to repair, and parts are available. I love laser printers, except for HP

Lawn mowing simulator.

I work on copiers for a living.

You guys are scaring me!

This is how you end up in an abusive relationship…

About how much time are we talkin here?

Oh! Go buy a Brother

Go buy a ThinkPad.

Don’t buy anything HP.

I ran a full sized office photo copier off a generator once, it ran fine, but you could really hear the engine chugging when the fuser started to heat up.

I’ll never forget my first time driving in Southern California.

I was doing 85mph in a 70mph zone and a prius flew past me.

I ran a stop sign today.

In my company vehicle.

I wouldn’t even think twice.

Damn, she showed up with that 12x18!

I heard that “who let the dogs out” by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

LASERJET COPIERS ARE SUPERIOR!

I’ve been using SwiftKey since like, 2012?

I just like the custom keyboards, and it learns my mistakes when I swipe. I always carry 2 phones, so I was able to sync the 2nd phone so my swipes are already learned on that phone.

Also, there’s a snow keyboard that collect snow at the bottom of the screen as you swipe.

When I’m dealing with ISP or phone customer service, I always ask for the cancelation department. They are motivated to keep customers so sometimes they’ll throw in a coupon, especially if you treat them like a human.