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skyler@lemmy.world to internet funeral@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago

The 2012 Baby

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The 2012 Baby

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skyler@lemmy.world to internet funeral@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • sarsaparilyptus@midwest.social
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    2 years ago

    J.H. Kellogg also claimed to be a straight man who wasn’t interested in consummating his marriage and felt no need for sex, and that the industrial-strength pressure washer enemas that blasted his prostate with gallons of water every single day were for medicinal purposes.

    • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Didn’t he also invent corn flakes to somehow stop people from masturbating?

      • phatskat@sh.itjust.works
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        He just didn’t think pleasure was good in any form - sex, sugar, games, etc.

      • sarsaparilyptus@midwest.social
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        His brother was more responsible for the corn flakes, John Harvey thought they were too flavorful.

      • Daqu@feddit.de
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        2 years ago

        Masturbating with corn flakes is not easy

        • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Not with that attitude…
          ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • riodoro1@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Isn’t he also the guy who made circumcision a family tradition in the US?

      • JBloodthorn@kbin.social
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        2 years ago

        And carbolic acid burns for baby girls, yup. Anything to reduce sensation and stop masturbation.

    • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de
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      2 years ago

      The Victorian mentality of “I saw alcohol kill bacteria under the microscope so I’m prescribing vodka to everyone.” Good that everyone is sane in this century and no public figures make deductions like these anymore.

      • sarsaparilyptus@midwest.social
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        In John Harvey Kellogg’s case, it was even worse. Much like the guy who invented graham crackers, it was “So drunkenness leads to cirrhosis, gluttony leads to obesity, pre-condom promiscuity leads to syphilis, sports lead to injuries, and laziness leads to being a soft couch potato. Clearly this means that pleasure is actually bad and you should make sure you don’t eat anything that tastes good, don’t drink, don’t lift weights, never have sex except to produce one or two children, don’t play sports, don’t listen to music, don’t have fun, don’t enjoy anything”

        • possibly a cat@lemmy.mlB
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          2 years ago

          deleted by creator

      • x4740N@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        You forgot about anti-vaxxers

        • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de
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          2 years ago

          First of all, obvious sarcasm.

          Second, the reference is Trump’s sanitizer idea or this comic.

      • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I love me some heart dewormer, though

    • phatskat@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      Water enemas yes, but his favorite was yogurt.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    So declared J.H. Kellogg

    Kellogg also claimed that his corn flakes would stop people masturbating because it was super bland.

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      If bland cereals prevent masturbation, that must be why Tony the Tiger is so enthusiastic about frosted flakes.

      • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Wait, what is the frosting? WHAT IS THE FROSTING?!?

  • the_beber@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Make the skin yellow and put a leaf on the head and you‘ll have a yellow Pikmin.

    • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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      Pikmin 3 released a year later in 2013. Holy shit!

      • skyler@lemmy.worldOP
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        The 2012 baby found work doing mo cap for pikmin.

  • NGC2346@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    The 2012 baby is not real he can’t hurt you

    the 2012 baby:

  • nieceandtows@programming.dev
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    2 years ago

    Can confirm. I’m the 2012 baby.

    • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I don’t think you’re allowed on here yet

  • teft@startrek.website
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    Within 2 centuries? How fast do they think evolution works?

    • phatskat@sh.itjust.works
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      Well he was a seventh day Adventist who though cumming made Jesus cry and shot yogurt up his ass and commented that “someday black people could learn from whites how to be close approximations of people”, I don’t think science was his strong suit

      • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de
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        I mean, if you believe that Earth is 4000 years old, you can’t really appretiate the time scale required for evolution…

        However, bat ears and more sophisticated speech organs would be a cool way to speed up interpersonal communication, which was still going strong back then.

        • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          Hey now! 6000 years old, don’t exaggerate

          • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de
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            Sorry. I mistook 4000 years ago/BCE.

            • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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              I was just being sarcatic, it’s equally ridiculous either way haha

  • Monkeytennis@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Not far off some I’ve seen, just needs more wrinkles

  • The_Cleanup_Batter@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Sexist and classist fear mongering never looked so memeable.

  • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Less go! I pull up

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Thank god my daughter was born in 2010!

  • Silvia@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Is that Mr. Popo?

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